Raise your hand if you’re straddling the line between crippling anxiety and not giving any fucks about anything
You say you want to be king -
so when I burn your kingdom down, I’ll make sure
you’re still chained to the throne.
Modesty culture is a ruse. More specifically, it’s a ruse that a man has the right to sexually violate a woman if she is not modestly dressed. It’s a ruse because women are not assaulted based on how they are dressed. We are assaulted because we are women living under patriarchy. It does not matter whether a woman wears a long potato sack or if she is nude. She is not safe from victimization so long as there are patriarchal men.
So then what is the purpose of modesty culture if it does not indeed protect women from sexual violence?
Modesty culture is a distraction. It allows women with internalized misogyny to trick themselves into feeling safer than they actually are. It allows folks to put down women and girls. And it allows male violence to be excused as it argues that it’s inevitable and out of their control.
Modesty culture does a lot. But it doesn’t protect or uplift women.
However, modesty culture has other implications. It promotes the idea that women do not own their own bodies. Our bodies are instead held captive by misogynist notions and by every individual man who has eyes to view us.short excerpt from “On Rihanna Teaching Me to Say No to Modesty Culture" @ One Black Girl. Many Words. (via daniellemertina)
If you wish to wear a revealing costume, this is your choice.
If you harass someone in a revealing costume, you are garbage. Rethink your actions.
In a study of children aged 2-5, parents interrupted their daughters more than their sons, and fathers were more likely to talk simultaneously with their children than mothers were. Jennifer Coates says: “It seems that fathers try to control conversation more than mothers… and both parents try to control conversation more with daughters than with sons. The implicit message to girls is that they are more interruptible and that their right to speak is less than that of boys.”
Girls and boys’ differing understanding of when to talk, when to be quiet, what is polite and so on, has a visible impact on the dynamics of the classroom. Just as men dominate the floor in business meetings, academic conferences and so on, so little boys dominate in the classroom - and little girls let them.
Working with children for over a decade, this is something I’ve noticed, actually. And for the majority, the little girls in my class and my co-worker’s classes all sit quietly and listen MUCH better than the boys do. Most boys don’t care to be quiet and sit still. And I don’t think this is an attribute of boys being “rowdier” or more “hyper” - believe me, the girls are JUST as off the wall as the boys if you aren’t telling them not to. It must be a learned behavior, and it must be enforced more with the girls so they know they can’t get away with it. You have no idea how many times in my career I’ve heard “boys will be boys,” and smiling parents as they tell me with a laugh, sorry, their son is “wild” and a “handful” as they introduce him to the class.
And that’s how you do sexism. That’s how it’s so effectively trained into every single citizen and indoctrinated as normal and right.